how to catch a mouse

If confronted by a mouse, before you shriek and leap to the nearest chair, there are 3 things to remember:

– it is possibly more frightened than you

– it is no larger than a bar of soap

– mice can’t climb upward – but rats can. Which is absolutely no comfort. If the thing is climbing the chair leg run for the door and scream like hell. Rats might be considered “adaptable, successful and clever”, in the zodiac, but in real life you have to accept they are just too revolting a concept for even a heroic moggy to deal with. Get them OUT

Being calm is not really important at the initial meeting, it is how you react afterwards that counts.

It does not matter how small and “cute”  a rat may look. Are you crazy? This is an optical illusion and no one sane should keep them. They are germ magnets. Mice, rats and any rodents are simply not fun, which is why this problem is an emergency. You definitely do not want it as a pet. Cats, dogs, goldfish are acceptable, guinea pigs borderline. If you have room, why not get a horse or a dolphin or something exciting and exotic?

If a mouse moves in, you have to move fast, charge rent or evict them before they start to breed. A Mr. and Mrs. Mouse can have up to 285 babies a year (ewwwwww), and you certainly don’t want to be housing that. Remember who’s the boss – you are. Who’s paying the rent? Exactly. Don’t give them free stay at the Penthouse Pantry with 24hr room service.

Draw up a battle plan:

1- Do you have a cat? If so, have a chat with it, any chance of it doing its job? Making you proud?

2- Do you want to get a cat or do you have any other pet that wants to tackle the situation for their beloved mistress (a hubby, boyfriend,brother also count)?

3- Can you get rid of it humanely? It is still a living thing so you don’t have to kill it. You will find in supermarkets (and specialised shops) ways to rid yourself of rodents that are alternatives to poison. You can buy all forms of traps that will keep them till you set them free (again ewwww). It is recommended (this is what most packs will say), though, that traps are inspected at least once a day, preferably every couple of hours, to avoid stress to captures mouse. They don’t however mention anything about your stress levels in doing this.

After the culprit has been caught, assess your house from a mouse’s point of view. Tidy up any tasty, easy-access food, board up holes that make things easy for them. Clean and polish every nook and cranny, get professionals if it’s too huge a task. Mice like to travel under the safety of cover, so remove any chance of that. If they get a sniff of a whiff of food, particularly sugar, that’s it they’re hypnotised. Keep things out of harm’s reach. They can squeeze through gaps as small as an apricot.

OK, now this was super gross for me to write (I hate rodents). But thought it was another funny chapter from my book.

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4 responses to “how to catch a mouse

  • wafa'

    i will try to remember this next time i saw one, if i was not busy screaming and running , lol.

    • melicieuse

      hahahahahaha I can guarantee I will not remember a word of it I would be busy trying to climb on the highest point in the room (while wearing my highest heels since they would keep me the furthest away from the floor)

  • Marvin

    We have four cats. One of them will catch the miscreant. In our area, we have green anole lizards everywhere. If one gets into the house (they can squeeze through tiny cracks), they don’t last long.

    • melicieuse

      i had to google anole lizard hehehehehe, oh my god it’s like a zoo are you experimenting on any of these things? is that your mission on this planet?
      I am just grateful I have not had one yet ever I hope it never happens I keep buying all these gadgets to repel them (like the sound things) since iv never had any i guess it means that the gadgets work

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