how to love the right type

in response to a post I read today (Dump him, he’s a Loser!), here are a few tips from my new favourite book.

It is impossible to love the right type – they will inevitably become the opposite. The more fabulous you are the harder it is to find someone who can compete. Not to worry, you can meet them halfway. Once you have paired off you need to run a few essential preliminary tests before you can start day dreaming or even thinking of presenting him to the parents and booking the wedding venue:

– does he make you laugh?

– does he listen and respect you?

– who does he like more: you or the people you know (beware of the address book digger)?

– does he have ambition or a job?

If he passes all of these to your satisfaction you move to phase 2:

– does he love fashion? does he want to work in it?

– does he take longer than you to get ready?

– does he express too much of his feminine side (yes all that jewlery might be a sign, and if he plucks his eye brows run, run very far)?

– does he dye/bleach/perm his hair?

– does he have a more extensive beauty regime than you?

If there is a YES to more than 3 of the above questions, chances are that he could be gay (yes as taboo as it might be in the Middle East…..there are plenty of Arab gays out there). You might want to know this fact and check with him sooner rather than later. But remember there is nothing more fabulous as an accessory or a girl’s best friend than a stylish gay man, but he is not going to be marriage material (and don’t waste your time trying to un-gay him) even if sadely they tend to be more faithful, more amusing and generally far more creative than the straight ones.

So before you start shopping for furniture together, check:

– are they truly single? Wife? Girlfriend(s)?Skeletons?

– do they have children? pets? plants?

– do they have a criminal record or a football season ticket, and to which team?

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21 responses to “how to love the right type

  • Ola Eliwat

    LOL!! Bottom line: Hire a private detective

    • melicieuse

      hahahahahahaha if you have one at hand yes, if not get someone’s mum to do it (in case you don’t want to ask your own mama) they are usually very effective and free 😉

  • hamdanism

    what about us poor men ha ? no tips for us

  • kittyKat

    Hmmm,he does change his wardrobe with some frequency throughout the day and wears bright,primary colors strutting around like a peacock wearing them,that kind of gets me thinking.Also he is amusing and creative,but as far as he being faithful is concerned,I’ve got to hand it to him,he puts up with an incredible amount of females,I’ve NEVER seen anything like it in my life.I for sure can’t handle that many,and I don’t even want to try.How do you know I could not un gay him?Anything is possible.Right?

    • melicieuse

      well if he is gay he is gay if you manage to un-gay him then chances are he might never have been gay in the first place and he was only “experimenting”

      • kittyKat

        Now you have manged to make me want to un-gay a totally gay guy,melicieuse.If you say it’s impossible then I really want it.Are you up to the challenge of I proving you wrong or not?Now,it’s just a matter of finding me a totally flaming gay guy.Does anyone out there fit that description?Or are you gay guys all yellow bellies and not up to the challenge of having me un-gay you?

        • melicieuse

          you are ONNN, I’v seen a few try and fail let’s see how you manage 😀

          do you want to post a call out or shall I?

          • kittyKat

            OK and you post a call and we shall soon see if I can accomplish this mission.But,you actually think there is a gay guy out there that’s not a wussy and will let me attempt to apply my manfem charm on him?

  • Marvin

    Your forgot, “Do your pets like him?” because they’re often a better judge of character than anyone else is.

    • melicieuse

      hahahahahaha yes good point Marvin, new pointer:
      – if your cat/dog/turtle/goldfish/iguana/rabbit/guinea pig want to make a chew rag out of him when he comes around then it might be best to let them have him

  • wafa'

    lol@the last line. for some that is the most important thing, lol . I am glad i am single, when iam done then i might come checking this post again.

  • kittyKat

    Oh!Yes I forgot, he’s got the heavy curly look,I wonder if he perms his hair?If I ever get a hold of him,he’s gonna start hanging out with a bunch of fun men and split from all these females,he will have much more fun,guaranteed.

    • melicieuse

      heavy curly look….hmmm well if he is from the Middle East, Latin America or south Europe then I wouldn’t worry about the perm the heavy curls are probably natural.
      Now you like him while he hangs out with girls…..are you sure you want him to hang out with men, you will run the risk of the following:
      – he might stop showering regularly
      – his room/house/flat will transform to a cave rather than a home
      – he will start complaining from thumb ache (typical symptom of sever case of video gaming otherwise known as PS3itis or X-boxitis)
      – he will stop complimenting you and all birthdays and anniversaries will be permanently wiped of his memory

      are you ready for this change?

  • kittyKat

    No,he’s your typical Anglo-Saxon blue blooded not hot All-American,so there is a justified concern here I see.If I wouldn’t know better I would think I’m a man according to your description of men except for PS3sitis an X-boxitis.I sent him even a message through someone in a around about way that he was stupid on Valentine’s Day,which I later had to retract though.He should have fun hanging out with me then,and be relieved of getting rid of all these females he constantly hangs out with.

    • melicieuse

      hahahahahahaha well if it’s any consolation, the PS£itis or X-boxitis is an almost necessary trait in being a modern day man so if u don’t have the symptoms you are safe and still a woman.
      and about your Anglo-Saxon….did you ever think that all those women were hanging out with him as opposed to him hanging out with them?

  • whisper

    Wow thanks for the valuable tips 😀

    I liked the second phase tips, you can add, does he have more makeup stuff than you 😀

    We used to have a neighbor his wife always complain about that, poor lady she was waiting for an answer :$

  • melicieuse

    Kitty……I’ll post it then and yeah there might be a gay guy outthere who is:
    – not too wussy to admit he is gay
    – not too wussy to let you try to un-gay him

  • maysaloon

    You know..I actually pass the above test with flying colours….

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