please stop policing me I know what I am doing, I could do this my eyes closed and sitting backwards at my desk.
please stop checking if I am in every morning, I am usually here before you walk in
please stop emailing me every 3.5 minutes I sit an earshot away from you, feel free to lift your nose from your screen and speak to me in person
please stop poking at my work, I know it’s good, you know it’s good, everyone knows it’s good I know you have to somehow justify your salary but please try to find another hobby
please stop harassing me with those tasks I didn’t do, it is not a lapse of attention or carelessness from me…..it is simply that I don’t actually want to do them as I qualify them as a waste of my time and precious brain power
please stop smiling at me and randomly asking me what I did on the weekend, I know you don’t care….cut to the chase and say nothing, I enjoy the silence between us
please do not have babies, in the name of child protection I don’t think you should be allowed to reproduce or adopt
because of you I now forever have an issue with ginger people (especially women who look like you)