insomnia

please head let me sleep tonight, i don’t think i can take anymore of a whole night of reruns

funny feeling when you go to bed all prepared for a good night’s sleep and then your eyes and your brain refuse to cooperate……….you do the usual step by step that apparently all og humanity read in the insomnia 101 book:

– you stare in the dark…..some try to count sheep/goats/camels/cars/shoes i don’t

– you turn over and decide to stare in another direction of the room since you are getting bored of the dark from the other side

– after about 40 to 60 minutes of dark staring the dark starts staring at you and says something like “what is it……want an autograph!!!!!!” or “what is it…..never seen dark before!!!!” or “whatis it……do i have something on my nose”…..or the usual ” WHATCHA LOOKING AT”……………..so you decide to reach for your trusty mobile phone and play a few rounds of tetris

– after 40 minutes of failing to go beyond level 4 on your phone’s tetris you look at your bedside lamp and reluctantly flick it as this is the first sign of you loosing the battle

– now in the light your room looks completely different you scan for any easy reading anything with pictures of clothes will do fine

– so now another 60 minutes later you have finished planning for your 2011-12 winter wardrobe and have made a complex matrix of what you should get rid of from your current wardrobe (all in your head off course) that also includes accessories and hairstyles

– the next 40 minutes you spend taking all the tests you can find in the pile of magazines next to your bed where you find out that: you are not doing your dream job, you are running the risk of developing acute paranoia, you have schizophrenic tendencies in your love life, the colour of your personality is red with a dash of yellowish green, your second born child will be president of  a third world country….and many more

– now dark or light you have nothing else left to do that doesn’t require you to leave your bed

– you leave the bed now this means you have 100% lost the battle…..but you are in denial so instead of doing the normal thing of leaving the room and doing something normal like watch TV, you decide it is a better idea to creep around the room for things to do…………….look i was putting off re-arranging the wardrobe for ages it is now time to do it

– 60 minutes and a new wardrobe later you are all full of energy

Final step you open the door you have LOST the battle you turn on the TV and watch endless reruns of different soaps

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4 responses to “insomnia

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