car ache

a few facts about car sales men:

– they will push a bank loan on you even if you do NOT want one, this shiny bank loan is meant to introduce you a wonderful new life where butterflies will fly around you farting rolls of freshly printed cash

– any make sales man, i repeat ANY car make sales man will tell you that his brand is the best and that you shouldn’t even dream of considering the rest

– they will have a big smile plastered on their face as soon as they see a woman walk in the showroom………jackpot, she’ll never understand a word i say, i can sell her anything……..ill finally be able to get rid of that silver grey pile of shit on wheels that i have had parked here for 2 years

– they will probably manage to sell you that silver grey pile of shit on wheels they had parked in the showroom for 2 years

– they all KNOW women can’t drive

– because of the above fact they will never sell a sports car to a woman, those are boys cars

– because of the above fact if you (a) are not a man, (b) not sure if you are a man or a woman don’t bother asking the price of a sports car/anything with an engine bigger than 1.8 L/anything that can go faster than 120km/hr

– they will tell you that the car you like comes in all colors as long as it is different shades of grey

– they will stop listening to you after you say “I don’t care what car it is as long as it is red and has a sunroof”


a few facts about cars and buying them:

– its amazing how many different shades of: white, black, grey, blue, silver car makers manage to invent

– it is amazing how many different names car makers can come up with to call these colors: white, black, grey, blue, silver…..they usually manage to name to invent/name 3 different shades of those colors per make.

– apparently pearl white, absolute white, granite white are not the same….. they are NOT just white

– apparently absolute black, true black, night black are not the same….they are NOT just black

– don’t get me started on the grey or silver

– pink is usually not an option

– no car….i repeat for emphasis, no car has a special makeup compartment (like those CD or sunglasses compartment) where the temperature is slightly cooler than the rest of the car so that you can safely leave a tube of emergency lipstick, gloss, mascara without liquefying them. they should think about it

– if you are a girl think about your wardrobe before choosing a car (some of the very low or very high off the ground cars aren’t skirt friendly)

– if you are debating hard or soft top, think about your regular hairstyle… it the structured mess, or the sleek do

– how many shopping bags can the boot + back seats (if empty) handle……yes this is important

– have you made friends with a mechanic yet? start thinking about it

– debating about how many seater should you get….2 seater, 5 seater, 7 seater….well it depends on how many friends do you want to be driving and dropping off all the time. i’d go with the selfish 2 seater, even if it means you have to compromise on shopping bag space

– in the end you would have seen and tried so many they will all look the same, so i say just pick a color and make it an impulse buy



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