Category Archives: blahblah

very appropriate

after a full long, very long, very very long day of ad agency presentation the below is very appropriate.

an ad agency presentation day is when a bunch of ad agencies come to see you and sell themselves, most of them believe in ruling by numbers (only 2or 3 people are needed, but usually 8 or 10 come along to fill your eyeballs)…………they try to explain your job to you and they apparently know more about your product than yourself, I mean off course they know you only created it and own it what do you know about it………now these guys with their Google stats fresh off the web that obviously no one would know how to get (especially not you the client) should be paid millions to run things for you while you stupidly continue on with your void of knowledge work life. One of them was arrogant enough/ or was it confident enough to try and give us a lesson in Facebook and Twitter…………..the room’s age group barely went over 35 so it was a bit like trying to give a teenage boy a lesson in Playstation 3

 

anyhow i leave you with this


so meli tried kick boxing

truth be told i haven’t been very proud of myself the past few months, it has been almost 4 months now since i have been able to sustain a good exercise routine….after the little kilos i managed to gain during the Ramadan lull my slightly larger ass experienced a strange case of couch sticking

whatever i did i never managed to get my ass unctuck from my very comfy couch, off course my cute ass expanded a little more, then a little more and again some more….etc etc etc. when some of my fave clothes started to feel tight i decided it was enough. i have decided to go back to my old exercising self and kick those few kilos away

anyhooooww, since i am allergic to the gym (i get a bad rash on my face just thinking about it) i had to find something exciting and preferably outdorsy….thus started my quest for a new hobby, a new sport. well i have 2 that i enjoy and would practice religiously but circumstances made them both not practicable since july (heat, humidity, partner not available, travel, bad schedule….etc etc etc).

meli got convinced by a friend that she should try kick boxing, that my fiery temper would suit it very well and that i would love it…….eeerrrrrr some friend that is

i was a bit reluctant, the thought of being in a dojo filled with buffed men and women all tight bodied and tight clothed and me feeling a little “big” and rusty……..i was told i dont have to wear anything special so i wore a pair of longish black leggings and a generic white T that was 3 sizes too big (just making sure i cover my assets) .

so we arrive, i give my details at the entrance a whole list of stuff……….then i had the image of horror…..what if i get knocked out by someone is this why they need so much information so that the hospital staff know what im allergic to when im out

my friend was eager to show off in front of me although she’s not a biff tight bodied super model…..shes just a girl and girls like to be mean and they like to show off, and she did so brilliantly…..she even kept hissing “don’t forget to breath” “breath properly” “see your not fit anymore” “wow you are rusty” allllll through the crapping warm up………and OH MY GOD what a warm up it lasted about 45 minutes out of the whole 1hr30 class. started by small running around the boxing ring (yaaaa there was a ring, this was probably the most exciting part of it all), then entered a series of torture exercises – situps, pushups, lie-down-then-fast-standup thingies….etc all rhythm-ed to more running around the ring

did i say there was an ugly asian buffed up tiny dude yelling at us boot camp style?

then we stop, i think yaaaayyyy thats it finished now they will split us in skill groups (noobs, less noobs, not so noob anymore)….. but noooooo everyone’s in one big awkward group. men, women (yeah that includes some very tall men and some very short women) noobs like me, wannabees (there were lots of those), actually good boxers. they made us do a series of awkwards and to me pointless exercises using gloves this time……so we got split into 2groups, a receiving group and a hitting one. the receivers stood in a huge circle  around the ring and each got given a punch combination, when a hitter got to a receiver the receiver would tell him what combination he had to do…..then you had to punch some random stranger for about 2 minutes. when the circle was finished the roles got switched around so we all had a go.

after this came the kicks, at this point i knew i wasn’t coming back so i wasn’t interested in inflicting so much pain to my joints and sat this part out (oh don’t worry i will enumerate  why i decided i wasn’t going back before it ended)

then we had a series of stretching (about 15minutes) and done

what i thought of the whole experience……glad i did it, never doing it again, its confirmed i don’t like being hit in the face or anywhere else, i don’t particularly like hitting people either, and no it wasn’t relaxing after a stressful work day to punch and kick

now for the real deal, why i would tell my friends DON’T DO IT:

– the wannabees……..waaaay more wannabees in a boxing dojo than a gym. go figure, at least in the gym they look good in spandex. man this place was full of fat bellied balding 30 something men thinking they will miraculously turn into some boxing champion and be discovered one day on a beach by an agent then hollywood decides to turn him into a movie, then a franchise . then he gets alll da gurlz

– the teachers (there were about 4 for 25 people), i was expecting some sexy group of either European, Arab or even Thai oiled tanned chiseled muscle bodies and all…….instead poooof the buble burst, a group of small (one was shorter than me) crooked toothed Thai men who barely spoke understandable English, for some reason they all thought you should know the stuff they’re asking you to do even on your first time……whenever i asked them to explain the instructions because its my fist time and the terminology was alien to me i got a cranky toothed, creepy smile with glossy eyes saying “waadoiioouuu men exxprain agiin, dis iz beesik”……………….to explain

i thought i would be taught by this

or this

instead i was introduced to the sport by this

commmooooonnnnn they must’ve heard of marketing and brand image

– the floor and the sweat……i never experienced this before. i am happy i discovered a new sensation that went straight to my top 5 hate sensations. let me explain,the dojo’s floor was made of soft foam similar to yoga mats…..during the 45 minute exercise all those hairy fat men started sweating….sweating a lot….hell some were soaked…..and when running around the ring you end up in a pool of sweat and usually that pool isn’t YOUR sweat eeewwwwwwwww. yeah while running (barefoot) as the training goes on you start noticing wet patches on the floor……i didn’t realise what it was till i saw most men (and women) were drenched in sweat and that some people’s sweat is so bad that it drops to the floor while they run around or do pushups and all………….eeeewwwwwwww maaaannn i steped with my pretty feet into someone else’s sweat

– the gloves and those stretchy bandages you have to wear for the 1hr30 to “protect” your knuckles and wrists…….those shitty things itched all the way especially the bandages. the gloves made it sweaty and hot and uncomfortable

– the wannabees….yeeehhh those again, in their belief of new boxing/kick boxing champion star they believed it was ok to send out hard punches when playing the receiver/hitter routine. they didn’t seem to understand that the whole point of this was to practice punches and their routine not to try to show off to the girl next to you what you can punch hard…..DUDE CAREFUL YOU ALMOST MISSED AND HIT MY FACE, you are meant to punch my hands

– since there were no particular groups or splitting of levels or anything it seemed to me that it was all pointless. a group of people who think they are catching a “thing” and that they are part of the “in-crowed” because they are doing some exotic sport once a month or whenever they remember that place existed. the whole thing was chaos…………all those instructors were interested in were the entrance fees everyone paid to take part in that circus…….even if that sport isn’t my thing i could have at least enjoyed the teaching method or teacher passion…etc anything, nope saw none of that

– all the girls were actually chubby…..wwwoaaaaaa that actually made me happy i felt all slim and petite again, yeah this item shouldnt be in this list but since i don’t have a “like” list to this post then it shall stay here

– the dojo, i am sure there are some amazing ones, but that particular one was awful dark small no windows stuffy messy

– i failed to see even one poster of JC Van Daaaiiimmm……not one, whaaaat i mean hello he’s da bomb, isn’t he? (this one’s a joke)

that’s it i guess, i am even considering a gym now after kick boxing flop a gym sounds like a nice place…..naaahhhh just kidding ill try a few more new sports before i give up and become a gym junky, for now i am trying to commit to 3 days a week gym until i find something i like

kick boxing DON’T DO IT


if you first don’t succeed…….pick yourself up and walk away

so I’ve been away for a while, no i haven’t ditched the blog or ran out of things to say or complain about. i just got busy with life

something happened to me yesterday that made me think about probabilities and knowing when to stop, not give up but to know your limit and just stop because the probabilities aren’t working with you and the odds aren’t smiling at you

I had been planning for an event that was meant to happen yesterday, everything was ready and all cogs of the operation were turning properly until at the time T a little tiny ink mark on a piece of paper made everything fall apart and the doors of bureaucratic hell opened up and handed me a ticket telling me to wait in the long queue.

After shaking earth and sky yesterday i decided to call it a day so I could get some sleep and try again today; today bright and early I continued that rattling and every time I had a little glimpse of hope something seemed to shut it off. every time a door or even a tiny window opened some annoying wind came blowing to shut it. conclusion event cancelled

after anger, sadness, annoyance, blahhness (an emotion between sad, angry, confused, disbelieving and boredom) I decided to pull a valuable lesson from all that trouble, when you first don’t succeed try again, if that doesn’t work know when to stop and walk away.

i am a stubborn person by nature and don’t like the notion of giving up, i like trying every possibility and abusing them adamant to make something work but now i know that sometimes when odds are against my will and nothing seems to be working it is best to stop, call it a day and keep some brain power for plan B

difficult part will be putting this new found genius conclusion into action

 


early june randomz

been a while heii
– the boys and football stereotype is true, a boy will watch a football game to be “one of the boys” even if he doesn’t particularly like the game and even if he doesn’t know or care about the playing teams. what counts is”to be one of the boys”
– some football players are paid waaaaay too much to run around a ball on grass for 90 minutes
– there is no such thing as too much sunshine
– to some people down is the only way forward…..when they reach the bottom they start digging
– people sending threat messages or giving threat speeches………what the hell do you think you ARE doing you idiot, these threats are just a mirror of your lack of confidence and an easy already made list of your insecurities
– Fleetwood Mac are still great and Eagles are still awesome
– eating cheese or drinking bubbly stuff before going to be will not give you nightmares…….they all lied
– there are a lot of Infinity FXs on Lebanese roads……..any rational explanation? did they hand them out for free???!!!
– proven fact, napping will enduce more napping
– diet pepsi is gross, normal pepsi is less gross but still has the yuk factor

ill add more later………….


il fait trop beau pour travailler


would you put your ass on this?

smurf seat

or even this?

golden haze

 

if these are built and sold means someone is buying them, i’d love to see who dares put their ass on these? especially the smurfy one, I’d freakout to have a blue transfer print patch on my pants

i think i’ll make it my new hobby to walk around taking pictures of offensive furniture; whatever happened to simple? obviously it got murdered by a smurf


do the empty at lunch time

living in Europe I used to go hide in parks or on big public areas during my lunch break and day dream there for an hour.

parks were nice because you’d get some greenery, and you would feast your eyes on some of the city’s summer abnormalities (people – no gender differentiation- have strange habbits in some European capitals….at the sight of 2 rays of sun they would strip to their skimpies and pretend to sunbathe ignoring the fact that those 2 ray’s aren’t exactlyturning the local park into the new Bahamas)

big public areas were a different kind of awsom, you’d find a bench sit and watch……hell forget watching you can stare. a mixture of dozy tourists and locals getting angry with the obviously lost/confused/slow tourists…how dare they walk in front of me don’t they know this is MY pavement. in my head i used to play spot the country (did i mention i talk to myself, a lot), easy:

– they look asian with lots of electronic gadgets, the older ones usually in light brown kakis >> japanese

– they look asian with lots of electronic gadgets, all of them wearing some sort of brand (thy seem fond of Burberry)  >> chinese

– very little clothing, skin tight clothing (men and women), lots of fur in winter – lots of glitter in summer (and vice versa), fair skin or bright orange (depending on the size of their wallet, the bigger the brighter), men like to wear white a lot (season doesn’t matter, looking gay doesn’t matter the important thing is that if you can’t achieve a total white look you should at least have 2 items – shirt, pants,shoes,socks…anything, they all contribute) >> russian

– you can smell (perfume) them a mile before they reach you, proof that scent travels faster than light >> arabs

– you can hear them a mile before you can see them >> spaniard,italian

– you can hear them a mile before you can see them and when you see them you need to quickly wear your shades ….aiiii so bright >> africans (bright clothing)

– you can’t hear them, you cant smell them…..poof like magic they appear in front of you you….but when they do you have to wear your shades…..aii so bright >> scandinavians (i could swear that girl has see through skin)

– they look like they are going camping, thick socks, cargo pants, huge magical backpacks (they have everything in it, you name it you get it: biscuits, water, gum, fruit, bread,cheese, some sort of saussage, various tablets in case they get sick, tissues, toilet paper, map, compass,dried food, space suit, umbrella, camera, tent, portable kitchen sink) >> french, dutch

– classic stereotype (a true stereotype), sandals with socks (preferably brown sandals with grey or white socks) >> german

annnyyyyhooooooowwwww, moving away from europe i found new day dreaming spots for my lunch break. in our old office i used to run off and hide at the beach for an hour surprisingly no one questioned my increasingly prominent tan (yeah the office was a 7 minute drive from the beach). new office new place, i decided to drive off to the desert ( 10 minutes drive away) and guess what its fabulous….only difference no people watching. its big, empty, silent and amazing…..it sucks me in so much that i forget myself and stay longer than i’m supposed to my face turning a bizzar shade of pink. what to do in the desert? park the car in direction of the wind, open all doors and windows and let the air flow in then either

– watch the emptyness and meditate in silence

– watch the emptyness and daydream (a favorit)

– close your eyes and sleep

– cranck up the music and do a lil dance around the car (another favorit)…..dance like no one’s watchin….eeermmmm no one’s watching (not recommended barefoot – trust me i tried- your feet will expand and it will result in you needing a new shoe collection)

today i tried a new lunch time daydream session, i had a pretend fruit picnic with a friend by the pool. it was fabulous, mixed a bit of all (day dreaming, amuzing conversation, laughs and pool people watching). if you are round and have buldging wobbly bits flowing out freely everywhere avoid wearing bright pink tiny bikinis (note to self)

now let’s try to go back to work (aint gonna happen)