Category Archives: documentary

so meli tried kick boxing

truth be told i haven’t been very proud of myself the past few months, it has been almost 4 months now since i have been able to sustain a good exercise routine….after the little kilos i managed to gain during the Ramadan lull my slightly larger ass experienced a strange case of couch sticking

whatever i did i never managed to get my ass unctuck from my very comfy couch, off course my cute ass expanded a little more, then a little more and again some more….etc etc etc. when some of my fave clothes started to feel tight i decided it was enough. i have decided to go back to my old exercising self and kick those few kilos away

anyhooooww, since i am allergic to the gym (i get a bad rash on my face just thinking about it) i had to find something exciting and preferably outdorsy….thus started my quest for a new hobby, a new sport. well i have 2 that i enjoy and would practice religiously but circumstances made them both not practicable since july (heat, humidity, partner not available, travel, bad schedule….etc etc etc).

meli got convinced by a friend that she should try kick boxing, that my fiery temper would suit it very well and that i would love it…….eeerrrrrr some friend that is

i was a bit reluctant, the thought of being in a dojo filled with buffed men and women all tight bodied and tight clothed and me feeling a little “big” and rusty……..i was told i dont have to wear anything special so i wore a pair of longish black leggings and a generic white T that was 3 sizes too big (just making sure i cover my assets) .

so we arrive, i give my details at the entrance a whole list of stuff……….then i had the image of horror…..what if i get knocked out by someone is this why they need so much information so that the hospital staff know what im allergic to when im out

my friend was eager to show off in front of me although she’s not a biff tight bodied super model…..shes just a girl and girls like to be mean and they like to show off, and she did so brilliantly…..she even kept hissing “don’t forget to breath” “breath properly” “see your not fit anymore” “wow you are rusty” allllll through the crapping warm up………and OH MY GOD what a warm up it lasted about 45 minutes out of the whole 1hr30 class. started by small running around the boxing ring (yaaaa there was a ring, this was probably the most exciting part of it all), then entered a series of torture exercises – situps, pushups, lie-down-then-fast-standup thingies….etc all rhythm-ed to more running around the ring

did i say there was an ugly asian buffed up tiny dude yelling at us boot camp style?

then we stop, i think yaaaayyyy thats it finished now they will split us in skill groups (noobs, less noobs, not so noob anymore)….. but noooooo everyone’s in one big awkward group. men, women (yeah that includes some very tall men and some very short women) noobs like me, wannabees (there were lots of those), actually good boxers. they made us do a series of awkwards and to me pointless exercises using gloves this time……so we got split into 2groups, a receiving group and a hitting one. the receivers stood in a huge circle  around the ring and each got given a punch combination, when a hitter got to a receiver the receiver would tell him what combination he had to do…..then you had to punch some random stranger for about 2 minutes. when the circle was finished the roles got switched around so we all had a go.

after this came the kicks, at this point i knew i wasn’t coming back so i wasn’t interested in inflicting so much pain to my joints and sat this part out (oh don’t worry i will enumerate  why i decided i wasn’t going back before it ended)

then we had a series of stretching (about 15minutes) and done

what i thought of the whole experience……glad i did it, never doing it again, its confirmed i don’t like being hit in the face or anywhere else, i don’t particularly like hitting people either, and no it wasn’t relaxing after a stressful work day to punch and kick

now for the real deal, why i would tell my friends DON’T DO IT:

– the wannabees……..waaaay more wannabees in a boxing dojo than a gym. go figure, at least in the gym they look good in spandex. man this place was full of fat bellied balding 30 something men thinking they will miraculously turn into some boxing champion and be discovered one day on a beach by an agent then hollywood decides to turn him into a movie, then a franchise . then he gets alll da gurlz

– the teachers (there were about 4 for 25 people), i was expecting some sexy group of either European, Arab or even Thai oiled tanned chiseled muscle bodies and all…….instead poooof the buble burst, a group of small (one was shorter than me) crooked toothed Thai men who barely spoke understandable English, for some reason they all thought you should know the stuff they’re asking you to do even on your first time……whenever i asked them to explain the instructions because its my fist time and the terminology was alien to me i got a cranky toothed, creepy smile with glossy eyes saying “waadoiioouuu men exxprain agiin, dis iz beesik”……………….to explain

i thought i would be taught by this

or this

instead i was introduced to the sport by this

commmooooonnnnn they must’ve heard of marketing and brand image

– the floor and the sweat……i never experienced this before. i am happy i discovered a new sensation that went straight to my top 5 hate sensations. let me explain,the dojo’s floor was made of soft foam similar to yoga mats…..during the 45 minute exercise all those hairy fat men started sweating….sweating a lot….hell some were soaked…..and when running around the ring you end up in a pool of sweat and usually that pool isn’t YOUR sweat eeewwwwwwwww. yeah while running (barefoot) as the training goes on you start noticing wet patches on the floor……i didn’t realise what it was till i saw most men (and women) were drenched in sweat and that some people’s sweat is so bad that it drops to the floor while they run around or do pushups and all………….eeeewwwwwwww maaaannn i steped with my pretty feet into someone else’s sweat

– the gloves and those stretchy bandages you have to wear for the 1hr30 to “protect” your knuckles and wrists…….those shitty things itched all the way especially the bandages. the gloves made it sweaty and hot and uncomfortable

– the wannabees….yeeehhh those again, in their belief of new boxing/kick boxing champion star they believed it was ok to send out hard punches when playing the receiver/hitter routine. they didn’t seem to understand that the whole point of this was to practice punches and their routine not to try to show off to the girl next to you what you can punch hard…..DUDE CAREFUL YOU ALMOST MISSED AND HIT MY FACE, you are meant to punch my hands

– since there were no particular groups or splitting of levels or anything it seemed to me that it was all pointless. a group of people who think they are catching a “thing” and that they are part of the “in-crowed” because they are doing some exotic sport once a month or whenever they remember that place existed. the whole thing was chaos…………all those instructors were interested in were the entrance fees everyone paid to take part in that circus…….even if that sport isn’t my thing i could have at least enjoyed the teaching method or teacher passion…etc anything, nope saw none of that

– all the girls were actually chubby…..wwwoaaaaaa that actually made me happy i felt all slim and petite again, yeah this item shouldnt be in this list but since i don’t have a “like” list to this post then it shall stay here

– the dojo, i am sure there are some amazing ones, but that particular one was awful dark small no windows stuffy messy

– i failed to see even one poster of JC Van Daaaiiimmm……not one, whaaaat i mean hello he’s da bomb, isn’t he? (this one’s a joke)

that’s it i guess, i am even considering a gym now after kick boxing flop a gym sounds like a nice place…..naaahhhh just kidding ill try a few more new sports before i give up and become a gym junky, for now i am trying to commit to 3 days a week gym until i find something i like

kick boxing DON’T DO IT

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car ache

a few facts about car sales men:

– they will push a bank loan on you even if you do NOT want one, this shiny bank loan is meant to introduce you a wonderful new life where butterflies will fly around you farting rolls of freshly printed cash

– any make sales man, i repeat ANY car make sales man will tell you that his brand is the best and that you shouldn’t even dream of considering the rest

– they will have a big smile plastered on their face as soon as they see a woman walk in the showroom………jackpot, she’ll never understand a word i say, i can sell her anything……..ill finally be able to get rid of that silver grey pile of shit on wheels that i have had parked here for 2 years

– they will probably manage to sell you that silver grey pile of shit on wheels they had parked in the showroom for 2 years

– they all KNOW women can’t drive

– because of the above fact they will never sell a sports car to a woman, those are boys cars

– because of the above fact if you (a) are not a man, (b) not sure if you are a man or a woman don’t bother asking the price of a sports car/anything with an engine bigger than 1.8 L/anything that can go faster than 120km/hr

– they will tell you that the car you like comes in all colors as long as it is different shades of grey

– they will stop listening to you after you say “I don’t care what car it is as long as it is red and has a sunroof”

 

a few facts about cars and buying them:

– its amazing how many different shades of: white, black, grey, blue, silver car makers manage to invent

– it is amazing how many different names car makers can come up with to call these colors: white, black, grey, blue, silver…..they usually manage to name to invent/name 3 different shades of those colors per make.

– apparently pearl white, absolute white, granite white are not the same….. they are NOT just white

– apparently absolute black, true black, night black are not the same….they are NOT just black

– don’t get me started on the grey or silver

– pink is usually not an option

– no car….i repeat for emphasis, no car has a special makeup compartment (like those CD or sunglasses compartment) where the temperature is slightly cooler than the rest of the car so that you can safely leave a tube of emergency lipstick, gloss, mascara without liquefying them. they should think about it

– if you are a girl think about your wardrobe before choosing a car (some of the very low or very high off the ground cars aren’t skirt friendly)

– if you are debating hard or soft top, think about your regular hairstyle…..is it the structured mess, or the sleek do

– how many shopping bags can the boot + back seats (if empty) handle……yes this is important

– have you made friends with a mechanic yet? start thinking about it

– debating about how many seater should you get….2 seater, 5 seater, 7 seater….well it depends on how many friends do you want to be driving and dropping off all the time. i’d go with the selfish 2 seater, even if it means you have to compromise on shopping bag space

– in the end you would have seen and tried so many they will all look the same, so i say just pick a color and make it an impulse buy

 


we all knew it was coming – now it is here

spray on clothes, yeah you read it right spray on clothes.

for my last post of today i thought i’d send you something that would make you a little less ignorant, spray on fabric has been invented. Scientist Paul Luckman and fashion designer Manel Torres ombined their knowledge to create this great novelty made from a mixture of cotton fibers, some sort of plastic and a solvent.

maybe this is the solution to clothe waste and to never having enough space in your wardrobe, imagine instead of having to stack 15 white t-shirts you can just have 2 bottles of spray and then re-spray to create different t-shirt styles everyday.

it is washable, re-usable and can create both summer and winter clothes. I can’t wait to have this in a store


England Vs USA – World Cup 2010……..what,why,when,who,how?

my second World Cup post, enjoy 🙂


South Africa’s rhythm

for my first World Cup post (oh yes i might be bloging about it) i decided to ignore what is happening on the pitch so today you won’t read me mock mediocre play like the French team’s spectacular failing yesterday…..let’s put it on the count of the heat yeah the temperature is probably a few degrees higher than in France

what i will talk about is what’s happening in stadiums off the grass, more precisely the rhythm of the ZA football fans. this year ZA is showing the world African hospitality, African rhythm vibrancy and spirit and last but not least its introducing a South African football speciality the Vuvuzela

a popular instrument used by ZA fans in the stadiums during football matches, they naturally carried on playing the instrument during the 2010 World Cup.

This instrument imitates the sound of an elephant’s trumpet (yes yes that’s what you call the sound an elephant makes), and its noise can reach over 130 decibels, just to give you an idea an aircraft taking off is 180 decibels and a chain saw is around 110 decibels. If you are watching the matches and wonder what is that strange buzzing sound no its not packs of honey bees out to kill the losing team its actually happy bubbly excited fans blowing Vuvuzelas.

since this is not a sound most football players are accustomed to, i would actually say probably most of them never even heard it before the 2010 cup. Given the intensity of the sound it might the a case that on top of the heat, humidity and World Cup pressure the Vuvuzela might be an additional factor to players high levels of stress thus making them produce mediocre games (you will never find just one Vuvuzela in a stadium it will most likely be a Vuvuzela for every 3 fans….that’s a lot)

come to think of it this instrument might actually be the reason for some surprising game results…….or really it might just be used as a lame excuse by some to justify a crappy game


how much more oil can float on the surface of the ocean?

so when exactly is the US planning to stop that oil from gushing as well as cleaning up the mess???!!!! or are they planning to see how long  can they go about doing nothing (well at least nothing useful) before any international body says anything???!!!!!

Hello UN anybody there….. perhaps its time for you to make the member of the UNEP work for their salaries…..once it is all fixed i would be more than happy for the culprits to appear at a court of law, and really i wouldn’t mind of the government (US) appears in court too as being incapable of stopping the oil leak and not seeming to spend much time or resources at trying to fix the problem as soon as possible. See even if the oil spill is currently only hitting a US coast the whole planet shares the same water

any country or government who wanting to use the planet’s resources should do so responsibly, this includes cleaning up after yourself in case something messes up……………even if the mess wasn’t caused by you but by the people you employed, to the eyes of the world you are still responsible for fixing it


playground politics

i love it when politics are stripped naked from the glittery words which politicians use to try and sound smart and also to justify the big pay checks we pay them each month……..oh and i almost forgot these same glittery words are also used by wannabes to try and sound saavy  and to populate hollow political “debates”, why do they all try to sound smart…. be stupid be happy

in these videos the stripped it naked…………not even the underwear is left eeeeek, they just got a big fan and blew all the glitter away

kids explain America’s foreign policies regarding the Middle East

kids explain America’s foreign policies regarding Africa and North Korea

kids explain America’s foreign policies regarding Mexico and Canada