Category Archives: life

a hot cup of something

a hot cup of something (today it was a nice cup of organic chicory, i’m detoxing for a few weeks) with Adele on the background, no better way to start your day. The mama being here helps too, love and be loved

mine started 3 hours ago; my body started straight away but my brain only slowly comes into action

since i’m in a good mood, i’ll throw in a couple more goodies,

The pretty Leela James on a James Brown cover

since waking up is not evitable, you have to increase the tempo its just a matter of time till you have to be out in the jungle, some Debout sur le Zinc. Good morning ya’all

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do the empty at lunch time

living in Europe I used to go hide in parks or on big public areas during my lunch break and day dream there for an hour.

parks were nice because you’d get some greenery, and you would feast your eyes on some of the city’s summer abnormalities (people – no gender differentiation- have strange habbits in some European capitals….at the sight of 2 rays of sun they would strip to their skimpies and pretend to sunbathe ignoring the fact that those 2 ray’s aren’t exactlyturning the local park into the new Bahamas)

big public areas were a different kind of awsom, you’d find a bench sit and watch……hell forget watching you can stare. a mixture of dozy tourists and locals getting angry with the obviously lost/confused/slow tourists…how dare they walk in front of me don’t they know this is MY pavement. in my head i used to play spot the country (did i mention i talk to myself, a lot), easy:

– they look asian with lots of electronic gadgets, the older ones usually in light brown kakis >> japanese

– they look asian with lots of electronic gadgets, all of them wearing some sort of brand (thy seem fond of Burberry)  >> chinese

– very little clothing, skin tight clothing (men and women), lots of fur in winter – lots of glitter in summer (and vice versa), fair skin or bright orange (depending on the size of their wallet, the bigger the brighter), men like to wear white a lot (season doesn’t matter, looking gay doesn’t matter the important thing is that if you can’t achieve a total white look you should at least have 2 items – shirt, pants,shoes,socks…anything, they all contribute) >> russian

– you can smell (perfume) them a mile before they reach you, proof that scent travels faster than light >> arabs

– you can hear them a mile before you can see them >> spaniard,italian

– you can hear them a mile before you can see them and when you see them you need to quickly wear your shades ….aiiii so bright >> africans (bright clothing)

– you can’t hear them, you cant smell them…..poof like magic they appear in front of you you….but when they do you have to wear your shades…..aii so bright >> scandinavians (i could swear that girl has see through skin)

– they look like they are going camping, thick socks, cargo pants, huge magical backpacks (they have everything in it, you name it you get it: biscuits, water, gum, fruit, bread,cheese, some sort of saussage, various tablets in case they get sick, tissues, toilet paper, map, compass,dried food, space suit, umbrella, camera, tent, portable kitchen sink) >> french, dutch

– classic stereotype (a true stereotype), sandals with socks (preferably brown sandals with grey or white socks) >> german

annnyyyyhooooooowwwww, moving away from europe i found new day dreaming spots for my lunch break. in our old office i used to run off and hide at the beach for an hour surprisingly no one questioned my increasingly prominent tan (yeah the office was a 7 minute drive from the beach). new office new place, i decided to drive off to the desert ( 10 minutes drive away) and guess what its fabulous….only difference no people watching. its big, empty, silent and amazing…..it sucks me in so much that i forget myself and stay longer than i’m supposed to my face turning a bizzar shade of pink. what to do in the desert? park the car in direction of the wind, open all doors and windows and let the air flow in then either

– watch the emptyness and meditate in silence

– watch the emptyness and daydream (a favorit)

– close your eyes and sleep

– cranck up the music and do a lil dance around the car (another favorit)…..dance like no one’s watchin….eeermmmm no one’s watching (not recommended barefoot – trust me i tried- your feet will expand and it will result in you needing a new shoe collection)

today i tried a new lunch time daydream session, i had a pretend fruit picnic with a friend by the pool. it was fabulous, mixed a bit of all (day dreaming, amuzing conversation, laughs and pool people watching). if you are round and have buldging wobbly bits flowing out freely everywhere avoid wearing bright pink tiny bikinis (note to self)

now let’s try to go back to work (aint gonna happen)


if you smell

if you smell take a shower,

if you think you smell but you dont smell, take a shower

if you have a doubt that you smell and maybe you do or maybe you dont, take a shower

if you dont think you smell but have a doubt that you might smell, take a shower

if any of the above applies but cannot take a shower within the next 10 minutes use deodorant, perfume, remove a layer of clothing (if possible) and at all cost stay away from lifts for respect of your fellow humans


L’habit ne fait pas le moine

a French proverbe, in English it translates to “clothes don’t make the man”……and here is the problem, clothes DO make the man. I am noticing this fact even more since I have been going around the Middle East more often than before.

I am al for equality and not judging by appearances (so many cakes I would have missed eating if I had only judged by what they look like), but honestly i am more and more inclined to thinking this proverbe doesn’t work alone. for the “clothes don’t make the man” to work it needs to be followed by “don’t judge a book by its cover”.

you see two average Joes in the street, you need to ask something (lets say directions) who would you ask? the rough looking average Joe A with torn and or dirty clothes who looks like he hasn’t bothered showering for a week? or the clean looking average Joe B who is clean chaved and is wearing presentable clean clothes? let’s be honest you will not ask them for their CV and current job before you pick your target.

average Joe A can very well be the CEO of an influential corporation while average Joe B a mere tea boy, you would still ask the tea boy wouldn’t you.

in our beloved Middle East where apparence is king, clothes do make the man. you want good customer service then dress well. you want respect from administration workers then dress to impress. mind you its not a totally bad thing as it forces you to dig out all those fabulous impulsive buys that you weren’t sure you would ever wear one day.


disconnect to connect

a fabulous TV spot for Thai mobile operator DTAC; they remind us that over communicating can kill communication, or in other words……put down your phone you morron and live. Funny as it contradicts what the company is about


my job for dummies

the company i work for has decided to have an internal newsletter, this is a great idea as it should (in theory) promote communication between employees as well as creating a feeling of belongoing to one same entity.

we are a relatively new company so the first few issues of the newsletter are all about departments presenting themselves to the rest of the company in terms of who they are, what they do and any achievements.

i have just been briefed this morning with my own section, i have to write something about my department i sat there glass eyed whith a wide open mouth…….after staring at the corp comm guy for a few minutes i laughed and said what exactly do you want me to tell everyone about……..i still don’t have anyone in my department… I AM THE DEPARTMENT……as such, we only have my expertise and still have no achievements whatsoever……I can tell you in fantasy land what we could be doing ans what great team i have………. this very funny conversation went on

me ” so A you do realise I have nothing to write about”

A: “yip”

me ” but you still want me to do it…!!”

A “yip”

me: “how about a big glossy COMING SOON”

A ” that wont do”

me: “what about if instead while i still work on having something to actually say i write a little MEl’s department 101…..it can be a learning section they can all know what it is all about and what we are supposed to do”

A “ooohhhh i like the sound of that…..great idea, do that”

A “but dont make it too heavy…..something light and easy to absorbe something fun”

me “sure…..give me some time to think about it”

a few hours later…….something easy, fun, light….a cartoon oooohhhh

me “A….do you mind if I make you a cartoon? itl be a fun thing”

A with a skeptical look “eerrrmmmmm no”

me “you do realise not a lot of people here know how to read……pictures now they can all see”

A “eeerrrrr…….no”

so now i am stuck i am not supposed to write an article…..but im not supposed to draw either…….i’m out of ideas


insomnia

please head let me sleep tonight, i don’t think i can take anymore of a whole night of reruns

funny feeling when you go to bed all prepared for a good night’s sleep and then your eyes and your brain refuse to cooperate……….you do the usual step by step that apparently all og humanity read in the insomnia 101 book:

– you stare in the dark…..some try to count sheep/goats/camels/cars/shoes i don’t

– you turn over and decide to stare in another direction of the room since you are getting bored of the dark from the other side

– after about 40 to 60 minutes of dark staring the dark starts staring at you and says something like “what is it……want an autograph!!!!!!” or “what is it…..never seen dark before!!!!” or “whatis it……do i have something on my nose”…..or the usual ” WHATCHA LOOKING AT”……………..so you decide to reach for your trusty mobile phone and play a few rounds of tetris

– after 40 minutes of failing to go beyond level 4 on your phone’s tetris you look at your bedside lamp and reluctantly flick it as this is the first sign of you loosing the battle

– now in the light your room looks completely different you scan for any easy reading anything with pictures of clothes will do fine

– so now another 60 minutes later you have finished planning for your 2011-12 winter wardrobe and have made a complex matrix of what you should get rid of from your current wardrobe (all in your head off course) that also includes accessories and hairstyles

– the next 40 minutes you spend taking all the tests you can find in the pile of magazines next to your bed where you find out that: you are not doing your dream job, you are running the risk of developing acute paranoia, you have schizophrenic tendencies in your love life, the colour of your personality is red with a dash of yellowish green, your second born child will be president of  a third world country….and many more

– now dark or light you have nothing else left to do that doesn’t require you to leave your bed

– you leave the bed now this means you have 100% lost the battle…..but you are in denial so instead of doing the normal thing of leaving the room and doing something normal like watch TV, you decide it is a better idea to creep around the room for things to do…………….look i was putting off re-arranging the wardrobe for ages it is now time to do it

– 60 minutes and a new wardrobe later you are all full of energy

Final step you open the door you have LOST the battle you turn on the TV and watch endless reruns of different soaps