Category Archives: rant

a lesson in customer care by Emirates airlines

if all airlines in the world followed Emirates airlines’ customer care policy i wouldn’t be surprised if people stopped flying and went back to camel back caravans

here is Emirates airlines response to an extremely bad travel experience i have had with them last month, basically everything that could go wrong with the flight went wrong and instead of trying to ease the pain they are just adding insult to injury

the response can be summarized to: well, unfortunately we only care about business and first class ticket holders, but that you for flying with us. but hey judge for yourself

23 April 2012


Mr xxxxxxxx

Email: xxxxxxxx


Dear Mr xxxxxx,


Thank you for visiting Customer Affairs on 3 April.


Please accept our sincere apologies for the inconvenience you and xxxxxxxx experienced due to the delayed departure of flight EK651, from Colombo to Dubai, on 2 April. Our Daily Operations Report shows that this flight was delayed for 6 hours and 16 (which meant we were stranded at the airport for more than 8 hours) minutes, due to the late arrival of the incoming aircraft from Dubai, which was attributed to technical difficulties with the operating aircraft.


I do agree that our passengers are inconvenienced when flights are delayed. Whilst we make every effort to transport passengers according to planned schedules, sometimes operational necessities/technical difficulties cause changes to these schedules. When this happens, we do our utmost to minimise passenger inconvenience.


Flights are only operated when our Engineers tell us that it is safe to do so.  Emirates will never compromise on the safety of our passengers and crew.


I do regret to learn of your disappointment when you were not advised of this delay.


Normally, in line with our operating policy, lounge access is not provided to our Blue Skywards members travelling in Economy class. However, as a gesture of goodwill, our Airport Services Manager provided you an access to Sri Lankan Airlines lounge (big fat lie, we were taken to the staff lunch area and were left there for the full 8 hours. we were denied access to the 4 very nice Sri Lankan airlines lounges as we didn’t hold a Sri Lankan airlines ticket. this said place we were dumped at served expired food which gave us severe allergies for 10 days after)  for the waiting period in Colombo. I regret if you were unhappy with this arrangement.


I am concerned to note your concerns regarding access to Emirates Business class lounge at Colomboairport. I wish to inform you that the lounge is exclusively for passengers travelling in Business class (a total of 2 people were travelling in Business class that same day, I am sure they wouldn’t have minded if we shared the 1 bench in that lounge)


I note that you were unhappy that you were not upgraded to Business class on a complimentary basis. I would like to advise you that upgrades are given only in times of operational necessity.  Furthermore, upgrades are given with great reluctance, as we do not upgrade as a matter of course, out of consideration for passengers who pay the First or Business class fare. (out of the whole flight only 10 passengers were Skywards members they were all treated as cheap cattle. (We explained that the 8 hour airport wait was proceeded with a 3 hour drive and that we had to attend to jobs early the next day, and that a complimentary upgrade -to an empty Business class- would give us some much needed rest on the4 hour flight back to Dubai. not saying that after all the suffering it would make us feel that Emirates cares)


I am advised that our Contact Centre staff in Dubai, was unable to upgrade you and xxxxxx to Business class, as there were not enough miles in xxxxxx Skywards account.


It is of further concern to learn that you discovered your surfboard in a damaged condition on your arrival atColombo airport, when you travelled on flight EK348 to Colombo on 23 March 2012 (they forgot to mention the full damage report, it was mildly damaged on the way to Colombo and then irrecoverable damage was made to it on the flight to Dubai)


I wish to advise you that surfboards should be robustly packed, following the below precautions, which are clearly stated on our website, (exactly what was done on both flights)


Fins should always be removed, or, if they cannot be removed, should be firmly packed with polystyrene foam. Both nose and tail should have bubble-wrap or neoprene foam attached for protection. The rails (sides of the board) should have cardboard down the sides to absorb shock. The board should be packed in a properly padded surf-bag. (errrr, seriously???!!!!!! how stupid do you think we are)


Our Conditions of Carriage, Article 8.7.6, which forms a part of your ticket contract states that passengers must ensure that checked baggage is sufficiently robust and well secured to withstand the usual and normal rigours of carriage by air without sustaining damage. (and again what the hell do you think we did???!!! plus it was checked by your staff at departure and arrival)


Furthermore, your claim is governed by an International Treaty known as the Montreal Convention 1999, which has been ratified by the countries where you began and ended your journey. 


Under the Montreal Convention, Article 17, paragraph 2, the carrier is not liable if and to the extent that the damage resulted from the inherent defect, quality or vice of the baggage.  Therefore, we are unable to consider your claim for the surfboard.(bla bla bla bla)


Nevertheless, we remain concerned at your overall disappointment and wish to take this opportunity to restore your faith in Emirates. Therefore, as a gesture of goodwill, without prejudice or admission of liability, Emirates is pleased to credit 10,000 complimentary miles each, to your and xxxxxx respective Skywards accounts.(seriously 10,000 miles????!!!!!!!!! what the hell am I supposed to do with that? a flight to another GCC capital costs at least double the airmiles for an economy fair. and that damaged/broken surfboard has to be replaced where is the money for that Emirates?)


Thank you for bringing your concerns to our attention, and for allowing me the opportunity to respond. We appreciate your support as our Blue Skywards members, and look forward to welcoming you and xxxxxxon board our flights again.(not happening anytime soon)


Yours sincerely,



Amjad Khan

Customer Affairs

now seriously………………….i am lost for words, these guys still haven’t figured it out. they didn’t see all the European airlines fall out of the sky the past 3 years until they cleaned their customer care strategy and started paying attention to their customers, all of their customers (economy class or first class, a customer is a customer point). they still didn’t figure out that its is with economy class flyers that they will stay in business

but hey who am i to talk, i’m only an economy seat buyer, plus Emirates don’t seem to need or want customers their business is keeping afloat with only their cargo service bringing in cash since everything else sank (you only have to visit the shiny Emirates terminal to witness the great emptiness of a falling airline)

Etihad, Fly Dubai, Air Arabia…..get ready to take on a new loyal customer

the day Emirates airlines didn’t need customers anymore

did you know that Emirates airlines think of themselves as such a big regional elephant that they actually don’t need customers anymore?

did you know that Emirates airlines would happily tell you “Fuck you, fly with us soon”, if they:

–  left you stranded in a tiny airport for 8:30 hours

–  made you eat expired food that gives you severe allergic reactions for 15 days

– don’t take care of you while stranded in the airport

– refuse to upgrade you to business class as courtesy when above points apply + said business class is empty

– so badly damage your luggage sports equipment that it is beyond reparable


yes all of the above happened to me on a recent flight with Emirates airlines, I took the pain of actually following their retarded complaint process just to get an answer today (3 weeks later) saying:

“thank you for your custom, since you purchased an economy ticket Fuck you. fly with us soon. we love you”

copy of their response to follow. oh and their Facebook page admin keeps on deleting my comments because apparently “they are against policy”


nice nice

very appropriate

after a full long, very long, very very long day of ad agency presentation the below is very appropriate.

an ad agency presentation day is when a bunch of ad agencies come to see you and sell themselves, most of them believe in ruling by numbers (only 2or 3 people are needed, but usually 8 or 10 come along to fill your eyeballs)…………they try to explain your job to you and they apparently know more about your product than yourself, I mean off course they know you only created it and own it what do you know about it………now these guys with their Google stats fresh off the web that obviously no one would know how to get (especially not you the client) should be paid millions to run things for you while you stupidly continue on with your void of knowledge work life. One of them was arrogant enough/ or was it confident enough to try and give us a lesson in Facebook and Twitter…………..the room’s age group barely went over 35 so it was a bit like trying to give a teenage boy a lesson in Playstation 3


anyhow i leave you with this

il fait trop beau pour travailler

melicieuse grows up

bought a domain name last week thought it was going to be kiddy play to transfer wordpress blog to the new domain name (or is it the other way around!!!????!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?! donno anymore)

wordpress off course would say its kiddy play (they want ya to buy a domain from them at maxi bucks), domain registration sites say its kiddy play (they want ya to buy from them for cheaappo price but then bump up the bill with a whole shabang of crap you don’t need)…………non of them however say that this kiddy has to have a master’s degree in computer science doubled with a master’s degree in English (yeah the language they use isnt exactly the A,B,Cs)

tip for wordpress and whatever site…….if you just took my money try not to make me feel like an idiot and give basic instructions…something simple that a regular chimpanzee like me would understand. guess what? if you make me feel smart i might be stupid enough to buy all those upgrades you want me to get like supersonic email

cut the bullshit

to person A: sometime i wish people would cut the crap and get to the point. don’t bother trying to be friends and no i don’t want to be BFFs with your wife cut to the chase and just tel me what is it you actually want from me then i’ll decide if i want to give it to you or not

to person B: don’t invite me for dinner thank you, i would happily starve . don’t ask me to join you for lunch either same reason as for dinner. again you too cut the bullshit what is it you actually want, come with it and ask. i am a simple gaal no need for complicated strategies just ask and i might just simply say NO

to person C: does your tongue have OCD or what…………..i already told you yes i heard you no need to repeat

to person D: dude you look like you are older than both my parents put together, you are my hierarchical superior and we are in a fucking meeting with both my boss and your boss. this is NOT a good time to hit on me. and for the record for you IT IS NEVER a good time to hit on me its just too grose and disturbing

to person D again and to person E: i think its creepy when you compliment my dresses but i shake that out off my head thinking that you mean nothing bad or nasty. when you ask me if its my natural hair i do think its a weird question and convinced you are both a pair of old creepy perverts……now why did you think it was a good idea to ask me if i was single……………..what the fuck . and no i will not answer that question so really repeating it a few times will not make me answer

on a separate note, why do some women think its OK to dress like your 5 year old niece/daughter. it sure is not, you have boobs remember? yeah those things that hang off your front….yeah those, they don’t really fit in that tiny top, and that thing hanging from behind….yeah the booty that needs a bit more skirt to cover it H&M does all sizes try them. on the same topic, if you are very pale skinned and have nasty blond bleached bodyless hair avoid fuschia pink babydoll bubble dresses with plastic rhinestones on the straps you look all of the below

– washed off

– older than you probably are


– you need wardrobe help

oh and matching the plastic strap stones to your heeled sandals (yeah the ones cutting craters in your puffy feet) is not a good idea either

if you smell

if you smell take a shower,

if you think you smell but you dont smell, take a shower

if you have a doubt that you smell and maybe you do or maybe you dont, take a shower

if you dont think you smell but have a doubt that you might smell, take a shower

if any of the above applies but cannot take a shower within the next 10 minutes use deodorant, perfume, remove a layer of clothing (if possible) and at all cost stay away from lifts for respect of your fellow humans